How helpful is it to feel in control?
In today’s episode we discuss the notion of being in control, and the paradox that what’s helpful is working on controlling what you can control (usually yourself) and remembering that you can’t control anything else. We talk about how creating a sense of being in control of some things can be supportive for our nervous systems, and create a sense of resilience. We also chat about ways we practice identifying what we can and can’t control.
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Discussed in this episode
- The illusion of control in our lives, whether the reality is that we can’t control anything, and that the only certain thing in life is that everything is going to change.
- Inspired by the quote by Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, “change is the only constant in life”
- How we control ourselves is how we show up in life and affects our interactions with everyone around us
- Brené Brown’s version of the serenity prayer – there are various versions of this but the one she uses in her book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ is: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
- Deciphering between facts and feeling when deciding what you can change, and allowing you to take action on the things you can control.
- How we have control and responsibility for ourselves (thoughts, behaviours and actions), but not how other people respond to us.
- Practising detachment to the things we tend to try and control.
- The duality of looking inwards (controlling can we control about ourselves) and looking outwards (the only certainty is that everything is going to change).
Links and resources
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Thanks for listening!
Ellen and Kate x