How do you know that you are ready to make a change? In the coaching space, I often hear “if you’re not a hell yes, you’re a no”.
As a person who is comfortable at the extremes, I like this approach. It’s a definite commitment. It’s known, certain, and feels safe. However, it also makes me uneasy when I’m feeling unable to be a ‘hell yes’. What does that mean about me or the decision? Am I flakey? Is it just the wrong thing? Or maybe I’m just human and nuanced. Maybe it’s ok not to be a hell yes or a no. Maybe it’s enough to be ok-ish, or 51% sure.
What does ‘ready’ even mean? Are we ever truly ready for anything we choose to do?
Does it mean you need to be in a certain headspace? Or have specific goals or life circumstances going on? Do you need to have a certain amount of time free to make the commitment, or the absolute solid willpower to make a transformational change.
What do you tell yourself that you need to do, or who you need to be, in order to be ready for something to change?
Do you need to wait until you’re sure about what you want, or maybe you need to be less sure?
Do you wait until the ‘right’ opportunity comes along, or maybe when there are no opportunities available to you?
What if there was no perfect time or situation?
What if you don’t have to be a “hell, yes!” level of certainty?
What if you can make changes to your life just as you are?
What if, with some gentle curiosity and questions, you could get the clarity, aha moments, and join the dots, exactly where you are in your life?
If you’re curious about making changes in your life, then I’d invite you to ask yourself “what is holding me back?”.
It’s also really helpful to have some support and guidance when you’re making change. Over the years, I’ve used self-study, peer support groups, group programmes, group coaching, 1:1 coaching and therapy, to help me make changes in my life. Different things can be helpful at different times, and this varies on the person and their circumstances. For example, self-study and group programmes are a great way of getting curious about your stories and where they are affecting your life, whereas 1:1 coaching can allow you to get bespoke support and guidance to help you make a change.
What type of support are you getting called towards? There is no right answer here. You can try something and then you can always choose again.
One of the books that made a massive difference when I first started working on making a change was Playing Big by Tara Mohr. It has a great combination of experience, evidence and practical examples, and is a great starter to get curious about where you are holding yourself back and the origins of those stories.
I have also worked with a few different coaches, and mostly before I knew exactly what I wanted to change. The most insightful sessions were always those where there was no pre-arranged agenda and I turned up with only what I had at the time. Those were the magical conversations where I felt I could show up without any expectations and really delve into what I was thinking and feeling in that moment. I didn’t need to be perfectly ready, I simply needed to trust that it was the right time to hear the insight that I needed and to take the next step.
If coaching with us is something you’d like to explore further then please look at our Collaborative Coaching Adventure on the website, or you can email us at email@example.com, or find us on Voxer and send us a message, username TheGoodSpace